Personal log 005

How long does the world trembles in fear...

everyday mankind takes a step into destruction...

every sunday all i hear is the end of the world surmon...

Fear The Lord...2012? Revalation?

everything is so unclear...

people Act Like the know when is the end.

people fear the end.

people being ignorant to the end.

im losing faith to the world.

but i am willing to remain strong to the lord.

End of the world, end of time. what are u so afraid of?

if u believe in everlasting life and salvation why go on crying about it?

sure u must preach but at least make something to make people keep the faith on.

NOT GO PREACH DARKNESS, DUDE U ARE SCARING PEOPLE NOT PREACHING

teach how to give faith and have faith please.

And last please dont be Hippocrates...

telling me what to wear, telling me god is punishing because u play games while eating bufffet??

telling me not going to church means im a devil.

FORCING ME TO BAPTIZE IN A YOUNG AGE WHEN I MENTION CLEARLY IM NOT READY!!

SIGH...

if its our end so be it.

Personal log 004

In the way on how i lead my life.

i have lead a very happy face in the outside

but

inside the happy person lies a wounded soul.

i have been brought to a secondary school (highschool) on my first day

realizing the brutality on the world that had poured on me.

Friends don't easily come by and i was alone for 3 years.

On the third year i have moved back with my family, trying to regain and establish

contact with my old friends the one i have hope to be happy with. Instead i have only found more darkness.

i have suffered a painful sensitive skin causing my neck to bleed every day and itch, and to thought i could joke with my old friends like the old time. I have been threaten with an entire gang coming after me with armed wooden sticks from the pens. On the first day of school... i was once again alone in absolute darkness.

Life is hard on me as i told i can never trust a person again and if i did i will be wounded again.
because this really happen in my life, no one help me as i did nothing wrong and was forced 10MYR out of me.

I always told myself what do i hold dearest in my life.
i seemed to lost that purpose already...(writing this story down hurts me alot...)

I MYSELF HERE, STAND TO ASSIST ANYONE IN NEED AS LONG AS I CAN HELP I WILL DO IT.

did i do it... yea, i did it for the friendship, not for love, not for a price just friendship.
hoping this line can never be broken, it somehow did...
to a girl...why fear me, why are u so afraid? i myself is puzzled with that.

to my friend since primary (elementary school) i have done wrong yes, but dont lock me out please.
i regretted on what i have done and i ask for one thing on the day u left. let me meet him once more and appreciate what i have.

I want to feel something that is lost in me for 5 years. I have something no other teenagers felt.
HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS...
SOCIALIZING...
HAVING OUTINGS...

I feel so isolated, lonely, hoping to feel something once more.
i would love to feel what a birthday party feels like for once =)
sadly i never had.

I here today still hoping to see that day as im typing this story of my 5 year ended life line.

to my father in heaven thy will be done may your blessing guide me to shine with the stars.
for if the world hated me, i know u stood beside me and loved me, amen....

-end log- 

Personal log: 3

a day i want to know do i have friends.

not the collage type.

my school times.

Nulla e reale; tutto e lecito. Requiescat in pace.

(NOTHING IS TRUE, EVERYTHING IS PERMITED. REST IN PEACE)

please dont hate me, i wish for forgiveness

i wish for a turn in life,

i wish for a second chance,

i wish for freedom,

i wish to experienced true friendship.